Stephen Schwartz is an amazing composer and lyricist. If you have
any doubts, think Wicked. But that is the least of Schwartz's
compositions. Godspell, which I suppose everyone knows back and forth,
provided the inspiration for this post tonight. Schwartz's writing of
"Beautiful City" (posted on my wall sung by Hunter Parrish) can only be
described as sincere and transcending. Hunter is a master of
interpreting this song (Schwartz said as much at a celebration honoring
him recently in Fort Lauderdale).
In the song, the first
chorus arrives from wonderful modulation and states "We can build a
beautiful city". This led me to think, what will our beautiful city
look like? We've all heard the passe reference to the United States
being a beacon of hope and perhaps is considered to be the "Beautiful
City" mentioned in the song by many. The problem with something being
beautiful in our society is that people think it should stay the same
and be lifted up to some immortal status. This picking and choosing of
what is or isn't beautiful is a very dangerous. You isolate groups,
divide people into beautiful or not beautiful, and lord knows the
results of that.
When I look around me, I try to, as my
Aunt Carol said today "stay positive". Let's face it, I've had a lot go
wrong over the years since I entered high school. Physical
intimidation, coming out of the closet in high school, being screwed
over by college experiences and being diagnosed with Bi-Polar are just
some of the challenges I've faced. But I am stronger because I survived
them. I am stronger because I've stayed true to me. And finally, I am
stronger because I am me.
I truly believe that people
are good at heart. But what has become clear to me is that things, so
many things, get in the way of them being able to realize what good they
have inside. The result when people don't see the good in themselves:
they impose their perceived lack of goodness onto others. But let's
face it folks. We are ultimately responsible for our actions and our
insecurities should never, ever dictate how we react with our fellow
man.
It's not that easy unfortunately. We are human. And
we can't always separate ourselves so flawlessly as we would like. As
often is the case, we don't even realize that we have hurt another until
long after our interaction has passed (if we in fact ever learn of the
pain we cause).
So I'm left with this fact of life: we
are destined to hurt each other. Its gonna happen. But what I've
figured out over the past couple of years is that I can only control my
actions and my reactions to other people's actions. And I will strive
with my every day to "learn how to build a beautiful city". The one
thing I've figured out: I can't give up on people and my innate belief
that they are good. But I also have to recognize when it is time to
give my energy toward another part of building that beautiful city.
Yes, people, perhaps even friends and family, could be left behind. The
key here - even if seemingly left behind, I will always carry them in
my heart even if its just the smallest part. Never forgotten. And I
have faith that the higher power among us (who ever we believe that to
be) will welcome us all, regardless of how we've helped build the city.
And don't fool yourself that at times people and even ourselves will
destroy some of that city. But we can rebuild. We can persevere. And
we will build a city of men. It will be perfectly imperfect. And
that's ok.
We may not reach the ending
But we can start
Slowly but truly mending
Brick by brick, heart by heart
Now, maybe now
We start learning how
We can build a beautiful city
The ending is always in our sights. But let's remember - don't let the ending blind your vision of the present.
I
start a grand adventure tomorrow when I leave Hutchinson Kansas and
head to Denver Colorado. And no doubt there will be times when the
struggles look too daunting or I approach a pile of rubble. But the
attitude I approach life with will be different that it has for a while.
When that rubble appears, instead of questioning how or why the rubble
happened, I'm gonna focus on building it into the best most beautiful
"city" in the world. May my light shine strong and sure with the help
of all. For we are never alone. There is always someone there. Ready
to take your hand and guide you to the blueprint of your beautiful city.
Out of the ruins and rubble
Out of the smoke
Out of our night of struggle
Can we see a ray of hope?
One pale thin ray reaching for the day
We can build a beautiful city
Yes, we can; Yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But we can build a city of man
We may not reach the ending
But we can start
Slowly but truly mending
Brick by brick, heart by heart
Now, maybe now
We start learning how
We can build a beautiful city
Yes, we can; Yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But we can build a city of man
When your trust is all but shattered
When your faith is all but killed
You can give up, bitter and battered
Or you can slowly start to build
A beautiful city
Yes, we can; Yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But finally a city of man.
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