Rememberances

Both of these were from my Facebook posts, shared after Grandpa and Grandma passed away-- April 2020- On Thursday last week, we said good bye to my Grandpa. The girls and I were able to call around lunchtime. Grandpa had the ability to show love unconditionally, he was kind, loved his family, and made you feel welcome each time you visited. No matter who you were. He greeted you warmly and always had a current event to share...often snuck into the conversation with an “incidentally”. He had a love for family, books/knowledge, Grandma (whom he’d been married to for 65 years...he asked her to marry him shortly after they met), KState, history, the pasture(family land), tractors, and anything sweet. I can remember him&Grandma spending time playing with us grandkids growing up. He was handy and made several things for me and other grandkids. He grew up in the Lutheran church and in the Haven area, and loved to talk about both. He grew more liberal as he aged, which was neat to see and reminds me to consider different view points. He really enjoyed hearing Olivia play the piano and the girls gave him a concert(Olivia on piano, Kinley on guitar, and Emily improvising) for his birthday celebration at the beginning of March. I am grateful for his example on how to love, his love, and his passion. He’s home with Jesus now, but we will miss him here on earth. November 2023- Yesterday we celebrated the life of my Grandma. She was 89. This picture is from 2017, but it captures her smile and she’s mid sentence. Chuckling over something someone said at one of our big family gatherings. So many wonderful memories…she always had a craft for us to do(painting, leaf collages, sewing, bracelets, shrink a dinks….), she was patient, kind, and welcoming. She always asked you about something specific…your job, school, your hobby. Growing up she always had a half stick of gum for us during the church service. I have a very vivid memory of spending the night at her house and her hair being up in curler rolls. She had Donald Duck orange juice for us. She also always had a snack for us in the bottom “snack drawer”. That drawer was still found at her house until she moved to assisted living this summer. As kids, we got to go birthday shopping each year to pick out what we wanted. (Even as we got older.) The outing always included an out to eat meal of our choice. She was Sunday school director when I was in grade school. And she loved to sew. One year we had matching Christmas jammies. I had many homemade dresses, costumes, a quiet book, and doll clothes. We’d go to the store and pick out a pattern and material. Once I had kids of my own, I enjoyed bringing the girls for visits because Grandma (and Grandpa) took a lot of joy in just watching them play and enjoying their presence. They’d also play with them. When we left Grandma and Grandpa’s growing up we always got hugs…and that held true for every visit when we got older too. Grandma is the Imogene that Olivia is named for. Grandpa passed away in April 2020. They were married nearly 66 years and I loved to hear Grandpa recount how he met Grandma. We missed getting family together then, but all but one cousin was able to make it back yesterday. It was a beautiful fall day, which Grandma would have loved. Grandma and Grandpa, you are dearly treasured and loved. Rest well. ❤️

Learning in Love

There are so many things to remember about grandma and grandpa. My closest memories are some of my last with them right now. December 2019 I remember seeing grandpa and thinking that this could be the last time that we saw one another because he wasn’t doing so well. When you live so far away, you just try to ask the important things more often or quicker, so I asked grandpa whether or not he was ready to be done here, ready for the next thing, and he told me with some pause that he really thought he was. 

Likewise, when I saw grandma for the last time, we took her out to the pasture with mom and Aurora. Enjoyed a drive around. Grandma even got out and sat on the cabin steps with us and we took a generational photo that I’ll cherish for a long time. She seemed so happy there and so content watching all of the birds and the animals from the car like she did every time that we rode anywhere with her. It was so healing to have that time with her. Hopeful.

As for younger memories, I’ll always remember Grandma making our Halloween costumes, Christmas pajamas and cookie dough balls for the freezer. Taking us shopping individually for birthdays so that we got time to bond with her. How she taught me to sew with such patience and how she sadly said to me as I grew into my profession that she wished she would have known that was something she could have chosen to do. Little glimpses of the adventure and ambitions that she thought about from time to time, immediately replaced by her love and devotion to Grandpa or the joy that she got from spending time with all of us.

And memories of Grandpa, always making sure that he shared the important pieces of family history, pasture going’s on and good will in conversation. I’ll also always remember him as being no nonsense at church when we were little; you had to be on your best behavior when he was around. Darn was always a bad word, so don’t even think about something worse than that and how he loved doing the booth at the fair where I always loved getting Happy Times from him.

Growing up in this family has always felt like a built in support system. We all make mistakes and falter from time to time, Grandma and Grandpa being no exception to this rule, but love wins out. As we all grew up it was notable how big our conversations got, how much deeper we delved into the world and how much growth this allowed for everyone. That’s not all families and that makes us pretty special.

Know that we love you all and that you always have our support in whatever way we can offer it. 

Here is what I (Cassi) shared in the Kinast Cousins Remembering Grandpa Facebook page on April 7, 2020:

Thank you for including me in this. I don't feel that I have as much to offer because I wasn't raised knowing Grandpa as my own grandpa, but he allowed me to call him "Grandpa", like everyone else did, for the last 16 years. Half my life.  

And I'm grateful because he didn't have to do that. He could have asked me to call him Charlie, but that's not who he was. I have a slightly different perspective than some here because I didn't know him until I was a teenager. 

He was always one of the first to say hello when I walked in the door. He always had something he wanted to tell me; a connection he wanted to make.

When he knew Adelynn was taking dance at Judy's, he told me Judy's whole life story. When he put together that my cousin owned Kauffman Seeds, he was quick to tell me about all of their rural community connections. If he would drive by the Yoder church and see cars, he would ask me what was going on. Anytime he would hear of someone in the news with a Mennonite last name, he'd ask me about my connection with them - and it wouldn't even offend me! Quite the opposite, actually. And he would hang on to this stuff for weeks until he would see me to check in. His value for connection was apparent.

Although I didn't get to know Grandpa for my whole life, we get to hold those memories close forever. I can see his legacy in each of you. I can see how you love your spouses and intend to love them for 65 years and on into eternity because of the way your grandpa loved your grandma. Kate, I see that stubborn fighter in you that I saw in him - and I mean that wholly in a positive way. Charles, I see your strong sense of family he had. Mary, I see your fierce love like his. Hannah, I see the gentle touch you have the way he had. Sarah, I see his strong faith in you. I see the exact same ornery ornery twinkle in David's eye that Grandpa always had in his. What everlasting gifts he left.

"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

As I said before, I don't have the childhood memories of Grandma & Grandpa, but as an adult, I am thankful to have items of theirs to remember them by. Watching Ollie play with Grandpa's tractor and trucks is a joy. I have Grandma's washboard up in my laundry room to brighten up some long days of continuous laundry. Adelynn has her bears and windmill on display in her bedroom. Ava chose a lighter that Grandma had that stored pins. Dave noticed the lighter as being Grandpa's, so he bought new insides to make it work as a lighter again. That tiny lighter just brought to mind that even though the two of them had differing views on an object, that didn't make it any less valuable. I also see that continuing through Dave's and Ava's thought processes, which just reminds me that unconditional love is a family trait. 

Seeing these girls wearing her jewelry to her celebration of life was so fitting. 

This is what I imagine them doing now.

Knowing how much Grandma loved family and nature, I will end with the last sentence of what I shared on social media on October 25, 2023.

"Feeling grateful they chose the time together,
especially as the air reminds us of the briskness of life." 

 

So many memories…

After high school and when there was no special man in my life, I asked Ma and Pa for a man for Christmas.  They came through.  That year they gave me my large ceramic Santa. I remember how pleased they were to have “gotten” me.  Another year I asked for sexy socks.  Yes, my love of socks goes back a long ways.  Once again, they delivered.  I still have the red socks in my drawer that have the word sexy all over them.  Again, I remember how pleased they were with themselves.

I met Tim when I lived alone in Lawrence.  However, on our first date Ma and Pa were visiting for the weekend.  I didn’t think it was fair to have Tim meet my parents since he wouldn’t be expecting it.  They parked across the street and sat in the car when he picked me up.  Ma kept Pa from using the binoculars to check him out.  We didn’t tell Tim about this till several years later.

I love to think about Pa with his glint in his eye doing or saying something and Ma responding with “Charlie!”.

 

Love

Laurie